Sunday, November 12, 2006

Soaking with the Snowman

Phatgirl is blogging on location from Kansas City, where I've been for the last five days while attending a work-related conference and from where my flight departs for home in an hour. The conference was a conference as conferences go. Five days of workshops, films, plenary sessions, networking, nametags, exhibit booths, and hotel food. It was much better than root canal surgery but not up to par with Disneyland. It would safely fall some where between the two.

The best part, aside from meeting some radically incredible people, was the hotel gym. For five dollars a day I had full access to their workout facilities and I managed to get my money's worth and then some. Every morning by 6:15 I'd be on the elliptical for an hour with a second hour clocked every evening. My daily cardio ranged from two to three hours a day which is way outside the norm for this girl. I also used the pool and jacuzzi which I mention here because on one of my jacuzzi dips I took a soak with Frosty the Snowman. A memorable experience whether in Kansas City or Disneyland though additional details are probably needed.

It goes like this. Follow along closely. The Westin Hotel where I stayed is attached to Crown Plaza. Crown Plaza is attached to Hallmark Headquarters. Hallmark owns just about everything within shouting distance. Apparently, Hallmark has an arrangement with the Westin Hotel allowing their card-carrying-card-making employees to utilize the hotel's cardio equipment, workout room, pool and jacuzzi.

This brings us full circle back to the snowman. Please discontinue reading if to this day you believe in Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, and the statement that "One Size Fits All" and rejoin us at the start of the next paragraph. Okay then, now that those people are gone, let me explain. Frosty the Snowman is actually a 18-year African American man named Gordon. Reverse that. Every winter Gordon, hired as Hallmark's official mascot, becomes Frosty the Snowman. In the jacuzzi Gordon appeared as Gordon, a very friendly, handsome young man, and not as Frosty the Snowman, a very fat, jolly and frigid fellow. I only know Gordon's other identity as Frosty the Snowman because it came up in conversation. I thought it was important to clarify the specifics for those of you who wondered how a snow-rolled character could hold up against a slow boil in 100 degree water. Okay. Now let's move on to the next paragraph so that our delusional friends can rejoin us.

Hi. Glad you're back. So what were we talking about? Ah. My workouts. You should be impressed by my dedication. I am. In addition, I kept record of everything I ate though I didn't blog it here, as fascinating as it would have been for you to read because of our previous in-ci-dent which, by the way, has been forgiven but not forgotten, but I digress. Rightly so, but a digression all the same. Anyway, between the workouts and intentional choices with my food, I'm going home without the standard sluggish feeling that results from the usual conference inactivity and away from home dining. That feels good. Really good. Speaking of which, I have a plane to catch. And that my friends, feels even better!


LBTEPA said...

congrats on the massive amounts of cardio - especially on the elliptical (I am so uncoordinated I make it clunk alarmingly/embarrassingly).
good on you :)

jeanne said...

only you could get in a jacuzzi with frosty. and what do you mean, those of you who don't believe...? perplexed.
but awesome working out!